Ready to Get Depressed… How Many Different Taxes Do I Pay?

The one thing you can’t accuse our tax code of being is simple. In fact, complicated isn’t a word that sufficiently describes the tome that is the US Tax Code. Did you know it’s 3.8 million words long? Did you know that 75 years ago, it was a total of two pages long, but now it’s 189 pages long? No wonder the US tax system is so convoluted and why so many people dread tax season. And why CPAs make so much money.

I Pay How Many Different Taxes?!?!

As you can imagine, in a 189-page tome, there’s bound to be a lot of taxes. But did you know that we have to pay 97 taxes? Yes, you read that right, there are 97 taxes you have to pay. Is it a wonder that the IRS has nearly 2,000 publications, forms and instruction sheets you can download off their website?

But there seems to be some method to the madness. In 1998, when the tax code was slightly shorter, Money Magazine asked 46 different tax professionals to fill out a income tax return for a household. It was all hypothetical, of course.

Now, you’d expect these professionals to know their business, which, of course, they did. Another thing you’d expect would be for them to generate consistent results, right? Well, no. They all had different results for a simple income tax return.

In 2009, PC World tried a similar experiment, except this time it was with five of the top tax preparation software websites. Again, they all had different results.

Apparently, those 97 taxes are too complicated even for the professionals, so it’s no wonder the rest of us regular folk shy away from completing tax returns. Clearly, it’s almost impossible to do it correctly. Even if a professional is doing it.

So, where’s the method? Well, incorrectly filed taxes lead to fines, which means the government makes more money. Of course, that could be construed as a conspiracy theory, but it still makes one wonder. After all, how can one not think conspiracy when you see things like “Flush Taxes” in the list, right? What’s next? A tax on using toilet paper? One thing’s for sure, when they start taxing us to breathe, we might have to consider moving.

Here are the 97 taxes in the US tax code:

1. Air Transportation Taxes
2. Biodiesel Fuel Taxes
3. Building Permit Taxes
4. Business Registration Fees
5. Capital Gains Taxes
6. Cigarette Taxes
7. Court Fines
8. Disposal Fees
9. Dog License Taxes
10. Drivers License Fees
11. Employer Health Insurance Mandate Tax
12. Employer Medicare Taxes
13. Employer Social Security Taxes
14. Environmental Fees
15. Estate Taxes
16. Excise Taxes On Comprehensive Health Insurance Plans
17. Federal Corporate Taxes
18. Federal Income Taxes
19. Federal Unemployment Taxes
20. Fishing License Taxes
21. Flush Taxes
22. Food And Beverage License Fees
23. Franchise Business Taxes
24. Garbage Taxes
25. Gasoline Taxes
26. Gift Taxes
27. Gun Ownership Permits
28. Hazardous Material Disposal Fees
29. Highway Access Fees
30. Hotel Taxes (these are becoming quite large in some areas)
31. Hunting License Taxes
32. Import Taxes
33. Individual Health Insurance Mandate Taxes
34. Inheritance Taxes
35. Insect Control Hazardous Materials Licenses
36. Inspection Fees
37. Insurance Premium Taxes
38. Interstate User Diesel Fuel Taxes
39. Inventory Taxes
40. IRA Early Withdrawal Taxes
41. IRS Interest Charges
42. IRS Penalties
43. Library Taxes
44. License Plate Fees
45. Liquor Taxes
46. Local Corporate Taxes
47. Local Income Taxes
48. Local School Taxes
49. Local Unemployment Taxes
50. Luxury Taxes
51. Marriage License Taxes
52. Medicare Taxes
53. Medicare Tax Surcharge On High Earning Americans Under Obamacare
54. Obamacare Individual Mandate Excise Tax
55. Obamacare Surtax On Investment Income
56. Parking Meters
57. Passport Fees
58. Professional Licenses And Fees (another form of taxation)
59. Property Taxes
60. Real Estate Taxes
61. Recreational Vehicle Taxes
62. Registration Fees For New Businesses
63. Toll Booth Taxes
64. Sales Taxes
65. Self-Employment Taxes
66. Sewer & Water Taxes
67. School Taxes
68. Septic Permit Taxes
69. Service Charge Taxes
70. Social Security Taxes
71. Special Assessments For Road Repairs Or Construction
72. Sports Stadium Taxes
73. State Corporate Taxes
74. State Income Taxes
75. State Park Entrance Fees
76. State Unemployment Taxes (SUTA)
77. Tanning Taxes
78. Telephone 911 Service Taxes
79. Telephone Federal Excise Taxes
80. Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Taxes
81. Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Taxes
82. Telephone State And Local Taxes
83. Telephone Universal Access Taxes
84. The Alternative Minimum Tax
85. Tire Recycling Fees
86. Tire Taxes
87. Tolls
88. Traffic Fines
89. Use Taxes
90. Utility Taxes
91. Vehicle Registration Taxes
92. Waste Management Taxes
93. Water Rights Fees
94. Watercraft Registration & Licensing Fees
95. Well Permit Fees
96. Workers Compensation Taxes
97. Zoning Permit Fees

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